You asked for it...

And, by "you" I mean whoever reads this. Not a lot of folks, I imagine. But, here's me and what I've been doing for the past 5 months. I'm taking three weeks off the cycle to be a tour guide in London. Sorta like a chaperone type thing. I'm excited and scared. I'll write about how it went. Its for 8 days at the end of March. That's me in East London, a class place where you need to watch out for the multi-colored phlegm and trash and gangs on the streets everywhere.

So, how is Obama beating Hillary? How can this be? I've been confused and let down by the American people before (how does Clay Aiken still have legions of fans? How does New York have the same representatives in the Senate as Iowa or Nebraska?) but, I just don't understand him and his lame-ness. Why does it seem like we all want to be lyed to? Is that all people want in the end? As I get older, I feel like I get dumber and have more and more questions...

So, sandwich sales have been good. I have some spending money but all I can think to spend it on is booze, so unoriginal. I like London more and more. Its got that same addictive-ness that NYC has. You don't want to stay but can't leave.

And yet, I've been sick three times and the last time was for like 3 weeks. I know that my job: being outside, coming into contact with a hundred people and their diseases every day, inhaling huge amounts of petrol fumes cannot help my general health, But JEEZ! The flu that I caught was so high-powered it made me think I had TB. I'm not even kidding. That's sicker than I've been in maybe 4 or 5 years. London is Plague Central. At least for this half-jew Yorker with a penchant for drink and fast cycling.

Keep on reading, Frank and maybe Laura?

2008, oh great

So, here I am. In London for the US prez primary. Yet, I will say that I'm glad to be here just to notice the predominant attitudes and the prevailing opinions for who should be our next President.

To be fair, I don't meet a lot of Republicans. Or, folks who would be Republicans if'n they could be. I know there are like 150 million or something back home, but over here, it seems like meeting 150 of them would be truly rare. Now, I'm not talking about the media or news coverage of the American Prez race. I mean, the people I meet over here would be considered, by and large, dyed-in-the-blue-wool liberals. Britain has very liberal values: issues like nationalized health care, high taxes, welfare for everybody are part of the fabric of their society and have been for like 50 years.

So, this being said, most of the people I shoot the shit with on my daily sandwich crusade are for Obama. Now, maybe that's not a big shocker, but on Tuesday i asked this guy why he thought that was and he told me he didn't know, it was more like 'Give some one other than a Clinton or a Bush the chance to be President'

And, that seems fair and actually sorta makes sense. I mean, from outside the US, both Democrats seem pretty similar in their policy and beliefs, so why not let a black guy finally be the President, right? And, furthermore you're not going to get any real details about any of the candidates unless you go and seek it, cause nobody over here can vote anyway. Its like wanting to go to Homecoming at the rival school...

Now, I'm a Hillary fan. I like her, I like her attitude, I like her policies and I think she's a lot smarter and a lot meaner than Obama which is what I feel the Democrats will need to beat McCain. And beat him they must for he is the worst kind of politician: The Old AND Crazy kind, the Joe Lieberman kind. He's the the type that kisses babies and cuts welfare for new mothers, the dude that supports gay people and bans civil unions in the same breath. And feels nothing about it. The guy who supports our troops by sending them to die in Iran like some 5th Century Spartan king but without the six-pack or the use of his arm.

Anyhoo, why is Barack so popular over in the UK? Same reason why G.W. Bush almost won in 2000, he's got a nice demeanor and you want to trust him, I guess. I don't know. I'm trying to figure it out. Maybe a small but obvious part of it is that they're a bit disillusioned with the mystique of a woman attaining high office. They had a female PM and she was tough as nails and had a bitch streak the size of the Falkland Islands. Maybe they don't see the Hillary I see. And maybe they don't see the Conservative dressed in Blue Liberal Stockings that I see in Obama.

Whatever the case may be, the self-important US media will now have something to keep itself occupied for the next few months. Cause we wouldn't want to be hearing about new alternative energy ideas or raising gas taxes or the flailing World economy, right?

RED MEANS STOP, mate

STOP! Not GO! Well, thank you officer/bobby/cop on a bike. 

And, thanks for the £30 ticket, I might add. 

I tell ya folks, London has got it in for me. In my defense, I'd never biked on this busy street. I say busy because the red light that I didn't see was not a cross street for cars but one of the million pedestrian crossings found all over London. And, there people crossing, people who saw me trying to make this turn and had paused to let me through...

My bad. But, jeez, when this cop came up besides me and yelled something in cockney, london-ize which I don't and won't speak, I said "What?!" maybe I was a little bit curt. 

"I said, pull over mate!" (no, you didn't, you said something like hey there or you alright or some such crap English) 

Side-note: My first reaction comes from the fact that two days ago, a woman came up to me while I was stopped at a red light, see I obey the rules of the road. Anyway, this lady started screaming "Fucking sod, fucking on a bike, fuck!" She was obviously a bit deranged but so could this psycho in a neon jumper, I don't know!

So, I got a ticket. The dude was literally salivating and shaking and really got into telling me about how I could've killed his child, how irresponsible I am and how this week's its "0 tolerance." I was on a bike, man, going REALLY slow with a heavy trailer, but maybe if the kid had fallen on the ground right as I made my turn I could've done some damage. Sorry.

Hey, we all got a job to do, I understand that. Personally, I've never understood the weird power trip that motivates some people to go into the police force, but you better believe this guy loved that part of his job. He threatened to arrest me if he couldn't verify that I gave him the right address. Yikes. 

And, as he kept me there for like 45 minutes, the weirdest thing happened, he looked at me and asked me how I would describe my ethnic origin. I said "White, um, obviously?" He said that it didn't matter, he was forced to ask me and he seemed a bit satisfied with himself as he made a note of this on his pad. 

Now, I'm not saying that this white cop targeted me because I'm white or that I was wearing a Yankees hat (which lead to the standard, 'Oh you're from NY, Mets or Yankees fan?'). But, I would say that instead of letting me off with a warning that would have been just as effective, he wanted to screw me and my white Yankee self with a ticket. Maybe to meet a quota, get a promotion, who knows? 

All I know is that this represents the second fine I've gotten here in less than a month. Both fines were simple errors, not the least bit malicious, not destroying the environment, threatening any one's health or safety, or hurting the English way of life as far as I can tell. They were what we like to call mistakes. And, to make a completely irrational guess I would say that there's this weird "You should know better, whitey" thing that goes on around here. 

Cause we all know how much the British love their rules, and you'd better not even think about breaking those rules, especially if you speak fluent English and are a Mets fan.

List of 2007, stolen from Rose's LJ

1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Moved away from New York.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Don't remember if I made any last year, and I doubt I will this year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, TK's sister.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No

5. What countries did you visit?
England, AmsterDAM, Paris

6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
More confidence in myself, something to do that challenges me, some mo money, honey

7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 4, cause I left the US and my Dad turned 58.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Does leaving NY count? Is that getting too repetitive?

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not quitting my job sooner. Not really a failure, just laziness really.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No, I just got the flu like 9 times.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I don't buy a lot of stuff, but 2 leather bracelets for two special ladies were good gifts, even if one wasn't perfect.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
TK's for putting up with my complaining whining bitch-ery. And for always putting a bright spin and always wanting to go out.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
TK's for never wanting to leave the party.

14. Where did most of your money go?
To the UK!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Oh god, its Britney Bitch.

16. What song will always remind you of 2007?
Gimme Gimme More.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. Happier or sadder? Both. More of each I think.
ii. Thinner or fatter? Thinner! Thanks bicycling.
iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer! Thanks bicycling!

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Looked into Grad Schools seriously.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Hate to say it, but drinking to excess.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Yes, well no, but I decided to make a real commitment to my love. and so far so good.

23. How many one-night stands?
none that I know of.

24. What was your favorite TV program?
I Love NY was 2nd, 1st place must go to Battlestar Galactica.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Oh yes, I didn't know these buggers until 3 months ago, they're Offensively Lame.

26. What was the best book you read?
The Best Gift I received was The Master and Commander Books and so far, my fav has been Post Captain or The Fortune of War.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hmmm, Justice.

28. What did you want and get?
The Master & Commander Box Set.

29. What did you want and not get?
a new car. kidding, a bike, actually.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
The Host or Transformers

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
We had a party at the Bushwick Country Club, I turned 28 and TK surprised me with Julia, the chef from lalaland.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If I saved more money and if I had become German sooner.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?
Gap OK, American Apparel NO WAY!

34. What kept you sane?
My Terry, awww. And the Pirate Books.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Robert Mitchum

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Not Global Warming. Maybe Abortion stuff.

37. Who did you miss?
Orlando

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Norbert or Veronica

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
You gotts to move outta yo Momma's house, quit bitching about your life, and act Now. Or as MJ once said, "i'm gonna make a change, for once in my life"

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

You want a Piece of Me.